Moderator edit: The posts below were split from the life sucks thread at Milki's suggestion to save them from cluttering it up with very specific ways in which life sucks.
I feel worse than I have in ages. Came downstairs when I woke up (at midnight) and found a bowl of stir fry, got frustrated because no instructions on how to heat it up had been left and I anticipated I'd just have to put it in the micro and guess a number and it'd end up tasting like it had come out of a dog, and subsequently every little thing just pissed me off massively, which I think is an ADHD thing. The fact that the cats hadn't been fed when my parents went to bed although they had no idea how long it'd be till I got up, the fact that I was sneezing, one of the kittens rooting around in the printer, until I just felt like shit. Try to speak to a friend about politics and I get shot down with, "I don't want to talk about that." To be fair, we do always end up arguing until I'm furious, this just sort of cuts out the intervening twenty minutes of futile discussion. I think the everyday frustration I feel and suppress just comes out when I'm alone and there's the slightest trigger.
I mean, I had a psychiatric appointment yesterday and it got cancelled without my permission. What? That's not even legal! Never mind ethical! The reason was so we could go through my mum's health insurance with her work instead of through the NHS, but Christ, I could have been consulted at least! And I don't get why we need to go through Bupa when Cambridge have offered to pay the full cost of any treatment, anyway - couldn't I just have gotten diagnosed by the NHS and then let my college foot the bill for psychotherapy? The pills are free any which way and don't require competent medical staff to distribute them, just people with eyes and hands. Pretty sure the NHS can provide people with eyes and hands. Even an eye and a hand would be sufficient. I just want to get this diagnosis over with so I can get some pills that might enable me to do the shit I want to do as if I were a competent, capable person for the first time in my life.
And my life is so dull, dull, dull! It's just the same thing, day after day after excruciating day! Sitting in this one room, desperately scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything even remotely distracting because the alternative is quite literally sitting doing nothing, and I go totally crazy unless I'm adequately diverted. I just wish something would actually happen! I don't care what: even if it's the house burning down, at least it would make an interesting departure from the relentless tedium of this pathetic mockery of a charade of a shadow of a potemkin non-life I'm living!